A Chance To Grow

      A few minutes ago I was lying in bed getting ready to read a novel when I got the sudden idea to read something out of the Bible instead. I brushed the thought aside and continued messing around on my phone for a minute and then I opened up the app where the novel is (and let me tell you that as someone whose arms and hands don’t work as well as they used to, I love the fact that my phone can hold books because it’s so much easier for me that way).
       Once again the thought of reading the Bible popped into my mind and I said aloud “OK I’ll do it but I don’t know what I’m going to read.” I’d just finished up reading 1st and 2nd John yesterday and hadn’t decided what to read next. When I opened the Bible app it was on James chapter 1 which is what we were looking at in Sunday school this morning.
      And there it was, the thing that I was supposed to read and unbeknownst to me the column that I was supposed to write. That’s often how these things work for me.
     There are some pretty challenging verses in the Bible and several verses out of James 1 have been difficult for me. Verse 2 reads “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy” (NLT).
      Often when I read that verse, my sarcastic side comes out and I think “Well I should be a pretty happy dude then.” I don’t know about anyone else, but rarely do I feel any joy when I have trouble. Frustration, confusion, and anger maybe, but probably not joy.
     Verse 3 goes on to say “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow” (NLT). One word in particular sticks out to me in that verse and it’s the word chance.
      My faith seems to be tested on a pretty regular basis. I’m sick, and my health is not good. I’ve had to make rapid changes to my lifestyle that I didn’t want to including moving into handicapped accessible housing, using mobility equipment, scaling back daily activities and much more. I’m not complaining, that’s just how life goes sometimes.
     Making life changes, dealing with disappointing doctor visits and having to deal with unfortunate relationship dynamics caused by my disability have definitely tested my faith on several occasions.
     Doubt is something that people often don’t feel comfortable talking about but I feel like it’s something I need to do. I’ve doubted. A lot.
     I’ve had doubts at one time or another about seemingly everything I thought that I’d learned about God. I can recall a couple of different times where I felt absolutely destroyed after yet another doctor visit where I went away without a diagnosis. I felt empty.
     I didn’t understand why things had to be this way and I was so angry.
     What I have learned is that God is there with me through the doubt. No matter how angry I might be or how lonely I might feel, He is still there with me. And He always will be.
      Feelings come and go, but God never leaves.
     Lately I’ve taken to looking at my life as a boat traveling the waves of the ocean. No matter what highs or lows may come my way, as long as my ship stays afloat it will always keep moving closer to where it’s supposed to go. God has control of the ship and the best thing I can do is to let go of the wheel and embrace that.
     Is it easy? Of course not, and sometimes I will struggle but God will still be there.
     Verse 5 says “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking” (NLT).  I hate asking for help as much as the next person but there’s no one better to ask than the one who has all of the answers.
     So do I feel full of joy about my troubles?  Certainly not at first and that’s where I think the word chance comes into play. If I ask for and accept God’s help, then my endurance WILL grow. If I don’t, then in my experience that’s when bitterness grows and my pain will have been for nothing. It’s all about how willing I am to humble myself and trust my creator.
     It’s hard to see the bright side in difficult situations but rest assured that the next time it might feel like life is kicking you when you’re down, you have a loving God just waiting for you to ask Him for His help and wisdom.
      And yes, your endurance will grow as He guides you through your struggles, enabling you to more effectively do His will. If you ask me, that is something to be joyous about.

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